Giving a Dog a Bath Funny

Cryptic
WarpedCndn

Registered: 10/10/02
Posts: 598
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 15 years, 5 months

Taken from Penny Arcade
http://www.penny-arcade.com

I mentioned about a month ago that we got a kitty. Well nosotros brought her back from the vet the other twenty-four hour period and discovered that now nosotros had a kitty and some fleas. I don?t know if the vet charged united states actress for the fleas as I didn?t scrutinize the bill as well as I probably should have. Perchance it was but flea day at the vet and we happened to be the thousandth customer. At whatever rate Kara and I decided that, while nosotros liked the true cat the fleas had to go. Kara ran to the store and bought a flea collar, flea comb and some special shampoo. Aye shampoo, those of yous with cats can already see where this story is heading.

I have never tried to requite a cat a bath before and so I sat down and read the instructions on the shampoo bottle. ?Wet cat? information technology said, then ?work shampoo into a lustrous lather? and rinse. What the bottle didn?t say is that every bit soon as your true cat gets the outset tiny droplet of water on its paw the situation changes dramatically. No longer are you lot trying to requite your cherished pet a bathroom to rid it of the fleas that are driving it crazy. No, now you are trying to wash an angry, furry chipper shredder that is howling like an air raid siren.

Everyone knows that cats don?t like water. You tin can ask any five twelvemonth old, ?what do cats not like?? and they will tell you water. To say that cats do non like water though isn?t actually authentic. For instance I do not like peas. Withal if Kara were to serve me peas I would non grab a kitchen knife and begin slashing wildly at the exposed parts of her torso while scrambling for the nearest exit and screaming at the top of my lungs.

Nosotros finally got the cat done and and so began the process of combing her with the flea comb. After we could run the comb through her without picking upwardly any of the little bastards nosotros attached the flea neckband and called it good. Nosotros vacuumed the hell out of the apartment and washed all the sheets and stuff. I even so experience crawly things all over me though which is unsettling. I promise information technology?s all in my head. Does anyone accept whatsoever tips for making sure your apartment is flea free? I would dearest to hear them.

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Chills420 version2
Poo Pie Maker

Registered: 01/26/03
Posts: 471
Last seen: eighteen years, 5 months

I utilise advantage flea stuff on our cats.

We took them to the vet awhile back and 1 of them came abode covered due north fleas.
Next fourth dimension you lot take your kitty in to the vet say something about it.
Our vet was very cool about information technology and they would apply flea control meds to them b4 nosotros picked them upwards.

I'm not certain if they were giving another dose of advantage or if they were dipped.
Whatever was done really helped out with it.
If you buy flea control from your vet they are prob more than likley to assist control them while at the vet.

Too timing vet visits to the time of calendar month you employ the flea control will also help.
Perchance employ it a solar day or 2 b4 at that place vet visit.

It sure as hell beats giving a true cat a bath.
We have a american bobtail at that place known for loving water for some reason.
This cat will actually leap into the bath tub or in the shower while my wife or I are bathing.
That kinda helps on keeping them off her.

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Yous may say Im a dreamer,
but Im non the only one,
I hope some day yous'll join united states of america,
And the world volition live equally one.

SkorpivoMusterion
Livin in theTwilight Zone...

Registered: 01/31/03
Posts: 9,954
Loc: You tin't spell fungus wi...

Cat Bathing is a Martial Art :grin:

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Coffee should be black equally hell, strong equally death, and sweet every bit love.

trendal
J♠

Registered: 04/18/01
Posts: twenty,795
Loc: Ontario, Canada

I've only given my true cat one bath.

He one :crazy:

I'll take scars forever :smirk:

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One time, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free.
But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.

ralph snart111
infectedlycanthrope

Registered: 01/29/03
Posts: 61

I had forgotten how much fun it was to give a cat a bath.
Advantage works wonders by the way.

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"Behold the mythical esquilax-a horse with the body of a rabbit...and the caput of...a rabbit ! "
-Timothy Leary

Chills420 version2
Poo Pie Maker

Registered: 01/26/03
Posts: 471
Terminal seen: 18 years, 5 months

yeah Advantage is gr8t shit.

I noticed that alot of vets really charge a vet visit to become you this stuff
Must be a vet scam

yous can get it @ http://www.petmeds.com
without a vet visit or on ebay.

I hate to see anyone go taken on some moeny that they could accept kept n in that location pocket.

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You may say Im a dreamer,
but Im not the simply one,
I hope some day you'll join us,
And the globe volition live every bit 1.

Viking
"I've beenworkinyard on myrr..rou..routine!"

Registered: 11/22/02
Posts: 304
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Concluding seen: 12 years, 6 months

The key to bathing a cat is the "full nelson". If y'all apply this motility correctly to a cat, you will have its upper extremity completely immobilized with minimal discomfort to piffling "Mr. Peepers". I'm serious about this...information technology's a ii-man operation (1 to apply the nelson, one to wash) but it'southward very effective.

Viking

CuriousByN8ure
Stranger

Registered: 01/29/03
Posts: 47

I would use a couple foggers, those things that shoot out smoke like chemical which kills everything in the house/apt. You'd accept to have the cat and whatever growing plants out of the firm/apt. Works great though, you will come back to notice expressionless bugs everywhere. Things you didn't even know you had in the house/apt.

CuriousByN8ure
Stranger

Registered: 01/29/03
Posts: 47

I would apply a couple foggers, those things that shoot out smoke like chemical which kills everything in the business firm/apt. You'd have to have the cat and whatsoever growing plants out of the house/apt. Works great though, you will come dorsum to discover dead bugs everywhere. Things yous didn't even know yous had in the business firm/apt.

enotake2
Cease Bush'due south war

Registered: 01/31/03
Posts: 1,457
Loc: Comfy chair in my lounger...
Concluding seen: 11 years, one twenty-four hour period

Have you lot seen this? This is how to give a canis familiaris and cat a pill.

How To Give A Domestic dog A Pill:

one) Wrap information technology in salary. Give it to dog.

How to Give A Cat a Pill:

1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the cheat of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat'southward mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As true cat opens oral cavity popular pill into oral cavity. Allow true cat to close mouth and consume.

2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat procedure.

3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

iv) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left manus. Forcefulness jaws open and button pill to back of mouth with right fore-finger. Concur mouth shut for a count of x.

5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from pinnacle of wardrobe. Phone call spouse from garden.

six) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with i manus while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's pharynx vigorously.

7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and fix to ane side for gluing afterwards.

eight) Wrap cat in large towel and become spouse to lie on true cat with head merely visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force oral fissure open up with pencil and blow downwardly drinking straw.

ix) Cheque label to brand certain pill non harmful to humans, drinkable one beer to have gustation away. Apply Rough-and-tumble to spouse'south forearm and remove claret from carpet with cold water and soap.

10) Recollect cat from neighbour's shed. Go another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Forcefulness mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down pharynx with elastic band.

11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put closet door back on hinges. Beverage beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold shrink to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Use whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss dorsum another shot. Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12) Ring fire brigade to recall the bluddy true cat from tree across the route. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into argue while swerving to avoid cat. Take final pill from foil-wrap.

13) Tie the little bastard'due south front end paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by big piece of fillet steak. Be crude about it. Concur head vertically and cascade 2 pints of
water downwards throat to wash pill down.

14) Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive yous to the emergency room, sit quietly while doc stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Phone call furniture shop on manner domicile to order new table.

15) Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and ring local pet shop to meet if they take any hamsters.

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Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, nosotros'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

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